Inspiration 40

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There is no specific Scripture tonight since I'm not sure how to research PTSD in the Bible. Feel free to leave me a Scripture passage you think might fit the category.

Childhood trauma is even more dear to me now than it was when I wrote Wilted Magnolias. Although I underwent some serious trauma as a baby and as a teen, and my own kids also experienced things that might have damaged their psyche, I now work with children who have been abused, neglect, sex-trafficked, bounced from one foster home to another. I see firsthand how devastated some of these kids are. It breaks my heart. Some now have serious behavioral issues because of past events. I cannot possibly help them all, but if I can touch one, then I have been blessed beyond measure.

The heroine in Wilted Magnolias underwent severe trauma, and she suffers from PTSD. How does she cope? Some folks think she's off her rocker.

1

April Showers

"It hurts, Russell Bear," six-year-old April McDougal moaned barely above a whisper. She clutched the blood-matted fur of the man-size teddy bear that lay on top of her. "We're gonna die, Russell Bear. Don't be afraid. I've got you." Blinding lightning flashed and the thunder shook the house. April knew no more.

The windows rattled from resounding thunder. Twenty-two-year-old April McDougal Chastain bolted upright in her bed. Her home in the upper middle-class neighborhood in Madison, Mississippi, was protected. Hired security patrolled the area on a regular basis, but her nightly dreams never made her feel safe. She scooted against the headboard and pulled a tattered, mended, man-size teddy bear to her, squeezing it in a death grip. "Will we ever stop having this nightmare, Russell Bear?"

She searched every corner of the room with her eyes. No one was there. Still her skin tingled with apprehension as heat lightning lit the sky. "We didn't die in the house that night. We'll be all right. It's my house, damn it! I don't know how you did it, but you saved me. Tomorrow we go home. Don't be afraid, Russell Bear. I've got you." She pulled the covers to her chin and tried to sleep once again, only to be haunted by dreams.

Six-year-old April McDougal giggled as the young man who seemed a giant to her, but was only five-feet, eleven-inches, lifted her into the air. The wind rustled his thick, wavy, dark brown hair as he swooshed the child over his head, causing peals of laughter from the little girl. His deep violet-blue eyes danced with affection for her. He squeezed her in a bear hug, and her mahogany red hair tickled his cheek. He heaved a great sigh.

April pushed back with her hands on his shoulders. "What's wrong, Russell?"

"I'll miss you, Munchkin."

April's big dark-chocolate eyes grew bigger. "Where are you going?"

"Away to college. I'm going to Cambridge University in England."

"Won't you come home?"

Russell Dalton looked over his shoulder at the sprawling old plantation home across the road. The house itself was barely visible through the branches of massive magnolias, enormous oaks, and giant pines. When he next spoke, he sounded distant, contemplative. "I don't know, Munchkin. You're too young to know how hard it is to live under a microscope as the son, the heir apparent, of one of the most influential men in Magnolia Blossom."

Russell stood on the winding stone path that led to a home just as lavish as his. He turned back to the child in his arms. "You'll find out, Munchkin. Your daddy has more power than mine."

"Russell, don't you love me anymore?" the little girl asked with the corners of her mouth turned into a deep frown.

"I'll always love you, Munchkin, just from a different continent."

The little girl kissed Russell on the cheek. "You'll come home to me one day."

"You're so precious. You're a fantastic little girl. I'll miss those eyes that remind me of Hershey's Kisses."

A big smile broke across the child's face. "I won't always be a little girl, Russell. When I grow up, I'll wear tight sweaters like Mary Lou Dobson. You like her tight sweaters."

Russell chortled. "Munchkin, you'll always be twelve years younger than I am."

"I love you, Russell."

2

Dust Covers

The burnt orange Mitsubishi Eclipse turned onto the overgrown driveway that led to the house, which was built before the Civil War and set a good mile off the road. The petite, but curvy, driver stopped the car and got out. Her large dark chocolate eyes surveyed the property.

Brambles grew along the stone path which ran parallel to the packed gravel drive. Dandelions and thistles dotted Bermuda grass, stealing its inviting blanket of comfort. The hedge of redtops forming the barrier against the traffic from the road had grown into trees. Although providing a sweet aroma, honeysuckle choked many trees and shrubs. Clumps of poison ivy smattered trunks of ancient oaks, pines, and magnolias. Weeds stood knee-high along the drive. Farther back, some were over the woman's head. April Chastain peered toward her feet to be sure no snakes slithered nearby. She touched the dangling tile on the right marble column at the beginning of the drive. It groaned as she righted it. River Bend Hall. She sighed as she read the name of the old house.

Her layered hair, just a few shades darker than her vehicle, barely brushed the tops of her shoulders when she peeked back into the car to where a worn, golden-brown teddy bear was strapped into the passenger seat as if he were an actual person, his feet hanging down and touching the floorboard, his head against the head rest. "Make a note, Russell Bear. We have to find a groundskeeper."

April got back in the car and drove slowly up the driveway remembering the last time she had been at the end of it. Her neighbor across the road had told her good-bye as he left for Cambridge University. She rubbed the arm of the velveteen teddy bear. "Won't he be surprised, Russell Bear?"

She walked through the foyer past a wide, curving staircase to an immense living room with a vaulted ceiling. She uncovered a wing-back chair and set the bear in it. "Stay here while I walk around," she instructed.

The bear's black button eyes stared vacantly as April walked deeper into the house she had last seen sixteen years before. She opened drapes and watched the dust motes glitter and dance in the sunlight. "We're home, Russell Bear," she whispered.

After turning on the air conditioning, April set about uncovering furniture and made sure the water was on. Once the downstairs was free of dust covers, she sat for a moment on the piano bench and tinkled the keys of the dark-maple baby-grand. It was a little out of tune. She closed her eyes and heard music.

Michelle McDougal, dressed in royal blue satin, played a concerto for the dinner guests, who applauded the woman's talent. She bowed graciously to her enchanted audience before she picked up her daughter and put her on the bench beside her. The two giggled as they played "Chopsticks" together and received raucous applause and laughter.

April opened her eyes and sighed. "I'm not as good as my mother, Russell Bear, but I can still play 'Chopsticks,'" which she did for her captive audience of one.

The reverberating chime from the bell pull at the front door startled her. "Breathe, April," she chided herself.

Opening the front door, she found Monique Severson, the realtor and property manager she had hired to help her.

"Ms. Severson, glad you came." I'm relieved to have company.

"You're early, Miss Chastain. Are the utilities on?"

"Yes."

"What else can I help you with?"

"We need a groundskeeper, a roofer, and a painter. And we need a home phone with internet. Please come in."

Monique stepped inside. "Do you trust me to find the people?" she queried.

"That's what I've paid you for. Find me reputable people. We'll need a housekeeper, too. For now, just Mondays and Fridays, but we could use some help tomorrow to get the place livable."

"Who'll be living with you?"

"Russell Bear."

Monique could see the toy sitting in the wing-back chair. The real estate agent eyed the stuffed animal curiously. April followed her gaze and laughed. "I'm perfectly sane." She lowered her voice. "I know he's not alive, but he doesn't." She grinned. "Seriously, Russell Bear is my security blanket."

"Of course. The place was thoroughly cleaned, and the Oriental rugs replaced upstairs years ago. I suppose you know the story?"

"Ms. Severson, I lived the story."

The woman with the very short blonde crop and green-eyes-by-contact-lenses contemplated her client. "You're April McDougal?" she asked in awe.

"Yep. My aunt and uncle adopted me. That's why my last name is Chastain."

"I see. Are you sure you wanna live here?" Her brows formed a tight knit.

"I don't believe in ghosts, just monsters."

 April turned to Monique who had watched as the memories transported her client back in time. April said, "I never saw their bodies, and I'm glad. Daddy always called my mother 'Mimi.' Sometimes he would say, 'Mi,' as he kissed one of her cheeks then, 'Mi,' as he kissed the other cheek. It made me laugh." She smiled toward the other woman. "My memories of them will be happy ones. The last thing I remember was my father reading to me right here in this room. He sat in that chair." April pointed. "With me on his lap. My mother sat in the chair at the dressing table and listened to the story he read. It was Paddington Bear. I told my father no bear was as good as Russell Bear." She sighed and choked back tears.

Composing herself after a few deep breaths, April stepped across the hall to the door of the room she had used as a child. Her hand trembled as she touched the doorknob. "I forgot Russell Bear," she said.

Monique Severson said softly, "Miss Chastain, it's a stuffed animal."

April shook her head. "No, it's Russell Bear. Somehow, he saved my life. I have to get him. We have to do this together."

April raced down the stairs and grabbed the tattered teddy bear, hugging it to her as she approached the door again. She said, "Don't be afraid, Russell Bear. I've got you."

Will Russell Bear be enough to save April? Will his comfort really keep bullets away? Grab a copy and find out his secret.

Cover by Christopher Chambers.

April and her security blanket and BFF as I see them.